You've been going through the motions for so long that you can't remember the last time you felt genuinely excited about your life.
You wake up. Go to work. Check the boxes. Come home exhausted. Repeat.
And somewhere in all of that, you lost touch with yourself. With what you actually want. With who you even are outside of your job title and your responsibilities.
Maybe you're scrolling through social media watching other people live lives that look exciting, thinking "I don't even know what I want my life to look like." Maybe you're lying awake at night feeling like something's missing, but you can't name what it is. Maybe you're just tired of feeling disconnected from yourself.
Here's what I want you to know: Losing touch with yourself isn't a permanent condition. And figuring out what you want doesn't require burning your life down or taking a year off to "find yourself."
It requires intentional reconnection. And I'm going to show you exactly how to do it—even if you're working a 9-5, even if you have limited time, even if you have no idea where to start.
Why You've Lost Touch With Yourself (And Why It's Not Your Fault)
Let's be honest about what happened here.
You didn't wake up one day and decide to disconnect from yourself. It happened gradually. Quietly. While you were busy building a career, maintaining relationships, meeting expectations, and trying to keep it all together.
You prioritized everything and everyone else. Your job needed you to stay late. Your family needed your support. Your partner needed your attention. And your own desires? They could wait. Except they've been waiting so long that now you can't even hear them anymore.
You learned to ignore the signals. That feeling of dread before work. That nagging sense that something's off. That voice saying "this isn't what I want"—you learned to push it down because acknowledging it felt too overwhelming. So you stopped listening.
You confused "successful" with "fulfilled." You hit the milestones. Got the promotions. Built the life that looks good on paper. And somewhere along the way, you forgot to check if any of it actually makes you happy.
You've been on autopilot for so long that you forgot there was a choice. This is just what you do. This is who you are. The idea of wanting something different feels foreign—or worse, selfish.
But here's the truth: You're not too far gone. You're just disconnected. And disconnection can be healed.
The First Step: Create Space to Actually Think
You can't figure out what you want when you're running on empty.
And I know—you're busy. You barely have time to breathe, let alone "work on yourself." But here's what I've learned working with women in 9-5s: you don't need hours. You need consistency.
Start with 10 minutes. That's it.
Ten minutes in the morning before you check your phone. Ten minutes on your lunch break. Ten minutes before bed.
No agenda. No pressure to have a breakthrough. Just space to be with yourself without distractions.
Sit with your coffee. Journal a few lines. Take a walk around the block. Stare out the window.
The goal isn't productivity. The goal is reconnection. And reconnection starts with actually giving yourself space to exist outside of your to-do list.
How to Start Listening to Yourself Again
When you've been disconnected for a long time, you don't just suddenly remember what you want. You have to relearn how to listen to yourself.
Here's how:
Pay Attention to What Feels Heavy vs. What Feels Light
Your body knows what you want before your mind does.
Start noticing throughout your day: What makes you feel heavy? Drained? Like you're trudging through mud?
And what makes you feel lighter? More energized? Even just a little more alive?
You don't have to do anything with this information yet. Just start collecting data.
"Monday morning meetings make me feel heavy." "Talking to my friend about her new project made me feel light." "Working on that creative project last weekend made me lose track of time."
These aren't random feelings. They're clues.
Notice What You're Jealous Of
Jealousy is just desire in disguise.
When you see someone doing something that makes you feel a pang of envy—that's information.
Maybe you see someone who left corporate to start their own thing. Maybe you see someone who travels more. Maybe you see someone who seems more present with their family. Maybe you see someone creating something that matters to them.
Don't judge the jealousy. Ask: What about that is calling to me? What feeling am I craving?
That's your subconscious showing you what you want.
Ask Yourself Better Questions
Your brain will answer whatever question you ask it. So stop asking "Why is my life like this?" and start asking questions that open doors.
Try these:
- If I could change one thing about my life right now, what would it be?
- What would make me excited to wake up in the morning?
- What did I used to love doing before life got so busy?
- If no one was watching or judging, what would I try?
- What am I pretending not to want because it feels too hard or too scary?
Write these down. Journal on them. Let your subconscious answer—not your logical, practical, "should" brain.
Use Journaling to Access What's Hidden
This is where the real work happens. Journaling bypasses your conscious mind (which loves to rationalize and stay safe) and gives your subconscious a voice.
You don't need a fancy journal or a perfect routine. You just need a notebook and 10 minutes.
Here are three journal prompts that cut through the noise:
Prompt 1: What am I tolerating that I don't actually have to tolerate?
Most of us are putting up with things we think we have no choice about. But when you write them down, you realize—some of these are choices.
Write out everything you're tolerating. The job that drains you. The relationships that feel one-sided. The way you talk to yourself. The lack of boundaries.
Then ask: What would happen if I stopped tolerating this?
Prompt 2: If my life could look ANY way in five years, what would it look like?
Don't edit yourself. Don't think about logistics. Don't worry about "how."
Just write. Let yourself dream without the constraints of practicality.
Where do you live? What does your day look like? How do you feel when you wake up? What are you doing that matters to you?
This isn't a plan. It's a vision. And visions give you direction.
Prompt 3: What does my future self—who already has what I want—want me to know right now?
Close your eyes for a moment. Visualize the version of you who's already figured this out. She's living a life that feels aligned. She's reconnected with herself.
Ask her: What do I need to hear right now? What am I not seeing? What should I stop doing? What should I start doing?
Then write whatever comes through. Your future self has clarity. Let her guide you.
Connect With Your Future Self Through Visualization
This is one of the most powerful practices for figuring out what you want—and it takes less than 5 minutes.
Here's how to do it:
Find a quiet spot. Close your eyes. Take five deep breaths.
Now imagine yourself 1-3 years from now. You've reconnected with yourself. You know what you want. You're living it.
What do you see?
- Where are you?
- What does your morning look like?
- What work are you doing (or not doing)?
- How do you spend your free time?
- Who are you surrounded by?
- How do you FEEL?
Don't force the images. Just let them come. Your subconscious knows what you want—it's just waiting for you to pay attention.
When you open your eyes, write down everything you saw and felt. Even if it doesn't make sense yet. Even if it seems impossible.
This is your internal compass showing you the way.
Identify the Feeling You're Actually Craving
Here's something that changed everything for me in my own journey—and for the women I work with:
You don't actually want the thing. You want the feeling the thing will give you.
You think you want a new job. But what you actually want is fulfillment. Purpose. Excitement.
You think you want more money. But what you actually want is security. Freedom. Breathing room.
You think you want to leave your 9-5. But what you actually want is autonomy. Creativity. Time.
So instead of fixating on the external thing, identify the internal feeling.
What feeling are you craving?
Freedom? Fulfillment? Peace? Creativity? Connection? Joy? Aliveness?
Write it down.
And then—this is key—ask yourself: How can I start cultivating that feeling NOW, even before I have the "thing"?
If you're craving freedom, where can you create small pockets of freedom in your current life?
If you're craving creativity, what's one creative thing you can do this week?
If you're craving peace, what's one boundary you can set today?
When you start embodying the feeling you're seeking, you become the version of yourself who's capable of creating what you want. That's how manifestation actually works.
Take Small, Aligned Actions (You Don't Need a Master Plan)
You don't need to have your entire life figured out to start moving in a new direction.
You just need to take one small step toward what feels more aligned.
Here are practical actions you can take this week:
Set one boundary. Say no to one thing that drains you. Leave work on time one day. Protect your morning for yourself.
Do one thing that used to bring you joy. Paint. Write. Dance in your kitchen. Go to that yoga class. Whatever it is—do it once.
Have one honest conversation. With yourself. With your partner. With a friend. About how you're actually feeling.
Explore one thing you're curious about. Take a free online class. Listen to a podcast. Reach out to someone whose work intrigues you.
Journal for 10 minutes. Use one of the prompts above. Just get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper.
You don't have to quit your job tomorrow. You don't have to make any big decisions yet. You just have to start reconnecting with yourself—one small, intentional action at a time.
Clarity doesn't come from thinking. It comes from doing.
Be Patient With Yourself (This Is a Process, Not a Switch)
I need you to hear this: reconnecting with yourself takes time.
You didn't lose touch overnight. You won't find yourself overnight either.
And that's okay.
This isn't a race. There's no deadline. There's no "right" timeline.
Some days you'll feel clear. Some days you'll feel lost again. Some days you'll take steps forward. Some days you'll feel stuck.
All of that is normal. All of that is part of the process.
The goal isn't to have it all figured out. The goal is to stay in the practice of listening to yourself, reconnecting with what matters to you, and taking small aligned actions.
That's how you figure out what you want. Not through one big revelation. But through consistent, patient reconnection.
You Don't Have to Do This Alone
If you're reading this thinking "I've tried journaling, I've tried reflecting, and I'm still stuck"—I get it.
Sometimes you need support. Sometimes you need someone to help you see what you can't see on your own. Sometimes you need a guide who's been there and knows how to help you reconnect with yourself.
That's the work I do. I help women in 9-5s who've lost touch with themselves figure out what they actually want—through journaling, subconscious reprogramming, visualization, and embodiment practices.
Not through more thinking. Not through more planning. But through reconnection. With yourself. With your desires. With your intuition.
You're not too far gone. You're not broken. You're just disconnected. And that can be healed.
Work With Me
If you're ready to reconnect with yourself and figure out what you actually want, I'd love to support you.
I offer 1:1 manifestation coaching for women in 9-5s who feel stuck, disconnected, or unfulfilled—but aren't sure what needs to change. Through journaling, subconscious reprogramming, and embodying your future self, we'll help you reconnect with yourself, gain clarity on what you actually want, and take aligned action to create it—whether that's a pivot, staying and thriving, or something in between.
Not ready for full coaching? Start with a Future Self Activation Session – a single 90-minute coaching session to gain clarity on your next move and create an action plan.
Or explore my Make Your Magic course – a self-paced program combining manifestation principles with practical tools to help you navigate life transitions with confidence.
