If you're reading this, chances are you've been sitting in that overwhelming space of "I don't know what I want."
You know something needs to change. You know you're not fully content where you are. But every time someone asks you what you actually want instead, you freeze. Your mind goes blank. Or worse—you spiral into a dozen different possibilities, none of them feeling quite right.
"Maybe I want to switch careers. Or start a business. Or go back to school. Or move somewhere new. Or just... I don't know. Something different."
If that's you right now—if you typed "I don't know what I want" into Google hoping for answers—I need you to hear this:
Not knowing what you want doesn't mean you're broken. It means you've lost touch with yourself. And that's fixable.
You're not indecisive. You're not lazy. You're not wasting your life. You're disconnected—from your desires, your intuition, your sense of self. And that disconnection? It makes perfect sense.
Let me show you how to find your way back.
Why You Don't Know What You Want (And Why That's Actually Normal)
Here's what nobody tells you: not knowing what you want is a symptom, not a character flaw.
It usually means one (or more) of these things is happening:
You've been living on autopilot for so long that you've lost touch with your own desires. You've been checking boxes. Doing what you're "supposed" to do. Following the path that made sense years ago. And somewhere along the way, you stopped asking yourself what YOU actually want—because there was always a "next step" mapped out for you.
You've been prioritizing everyone else's needs over your own. Your job's needs. Your partner's needs. Your family's needs. And your desires got pushed so far down that you can't even hear them anymore.
You're afraid that what you want isn't "allowed" or isn't practical. So you've trained yourself not to want it. You've convinced yourself it's silly, unrealistic, selfish, or irresponsible. And now when you try to access what you want, there's just... static.
You've tied your identity so tightly to your current situation that imagining something different feels like losing yourself. If you're not "the person who has it all together" or "the one with the stable career," then who are you? The unknown feels scarier than the unfulfilling known.
Your subconscious is protecting you from disappointment. If you don't know what you want, you can't fail at getting it. If you don't name the desire, you can't be devastated when it doesn't happen. It's a defense mechanism. And it's keeping you stuck.
Here's what I know after years of this work with clients: Clarity doesn't come from thinking harder. It comes from reconnecting with yourself.
Why "Just Figure It Out" Doesn't Work
People love to give advice when you say you don't know what you want.
"Just try new things!" "Make a pros and cons list!" "What would you do if money weren't an issue?" "Follow your passion!"
And maybe you've tried all of that. Maybe you've made the lists and explored the options and still felt... nothing. Or everything. Or so overwhelmed by possibilities that you shut down completely.
That's because clarity isn't a thinking problem. It's a feeling problem.
Your logical brain can't figure out what you want—because what you want isn't a logical answer. It's a felt sense. It's an intuitive knowing. It's something your body recognizes before your mind can name it.
And if you've spent years disconnected from your body, ignoring your intuition, overriding your desires with "shoulds"—your thinking brain isn't going to suddenly crack the code.
You have to go deeper.
Step 1: Give Yourself Permission to Not Know (For Now)
Before we do anything else, you need to release the pressure.
You don't have to have it figured out today. Or this week. Or even this month.
The urgency you're feeling—the "I need to know RIGHT NOW or I'm wasting my life"—that's fear talking. That's the part of you that's terrified of being stuck forever.
But here's the truth: you're not stuck forever. You're in the process of figuring it out. And that process takes time.
So take a breath. Give yourself permission to be in the "I don't know" space without making it mean something is wrong with you.
You're not behind. You're not failing. You're right where you need to be.
Step 2: Stop Looking for THE Answer (Start Looking for Clues)
Here's where most people get stuck: they're looking for the One Perfect Answer. The clear, definitive "THIS is what I want and THIS is what I'm going to do."
But clarity doesn't usually show up like that—especially not when you've been disconnected from yourself for a while.
Instead, clarity shows up in clues. In breadcrumbs. In tiny moments where something feels a little more right or a little more wrong.
Your job isn't to figure out your entire life plan. Your job is to start noticing the clues.
What lights you up, even just a little bit? What makes you feel heavy? What do you find yourself daydreaming about? What do you scroll past on social media because it makes you feel a pang of jealousy or longing?
Those are clues.
Start collecting them. Don't judge them. Don't dismiss them as "not realistic" or "not a real path." Just notice them.
Step 3: Journal Your Way to Clarity (Because Your Subconscious Knows)
This is where the real work begins. Your conscious mind might not know what you want—but your subconscious does.
Your subconscious has been absorbing information this whole time. It knows what feels good and what doesn't. It knows what you've been suppressing. It knows what you're scared to admit.
And journaling is how you access it.
Grab your journal and work through these prompts. Don't overthink them. Don't edit as you write. Just let whatever comes up land on the page.
Prompt 1: What do I know I DON'T want?
Sometimes it's easier to start with what you don't want. And that's okay—because elimination is clarity too.
Write down everything you know you don't want. Don't soften it. Don't make it sound nice. Just get honest.
"I don't want to feel dread on Sunday nights anymore." "I don't want to spend my life doing work that doesn't matter to me." "I don't want to prioritize everyone else over myself."
Now look at that list. What's the opposite of those things? That's your starting point.
Prompt 2: When do I feel most like myself?
Think back over the last few months—or even years. When did you feel most alive? Most present? Most YOU?
It might be tiny moments. A conversation with a friend. A project you worked on. A trip you took. A quiet morning alone.
Write about those moments. What were you doing? Who were you with? What made it feel different?
Those moments are clues to what you value—and what you want more of.
Prompt 3: What would I do if I knew I couldn't fail?
You've probably heard this question before. But really sit with it this time.
If failure wasn't an option. If judgment wasn't a factor. If money wasn't an issue. If everyone in your life supported you no matter what.
What would you do? Where would you go? How would you spend your time?
Don't censor yourself. Write the "unrealistic" thing. Write the thing that scares you. Write the thing you've been too afraid to say out loud.
Because that's the thing your subconscious wants. And it's been waiting for you to listen.
Prompt 4: What does my future self want me to know?
This is a visualization practice that can unlock incredible clarity.
Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths.
Now visualize your future self—the version of you who's already figured this out. She's on the other side of the confusion. She's living a life that feels aligned. She knows what she wants.
Ask her: What do you want me to know right now? What am I not seeing? What should I pay attention to?
Then open your eyes and write whatever comes through. Don't filter it. Don't question it. Just write.
Your future self has clarity. And she's trying to tell you something.
Step 4: Pay Attention to the Feeling, Not Just the Thing
Here's something that comes up constantly in my work with clients: they get stuck because they're trying to figure out the WHAT before they understand the WHY.
They're asking "What job should I have? What career should I pursue? What decision should I make?" when the real question is:
"What do I want to FEEL?"
Because here's the truth: you don't actually want the thing. You want the feeling you think the thing will give you.
So instead of fixating on finding the perfect answer, start identifying the feeling you're craving.
Do you want to feel:
- Fulfilled?
- Free?
- Creative?
- Connected?
- Seen?
- Purposeful?
- Peaceful?
- Excited?
- Alive?
Name the feeling. Write it down.
And then ask yourself: How can I start cultivating that feeling NOW—before I have the answer figured out?
This is where manifestation gets practical. When you start embodying the feeling you're chasing, something shifts. You start showing up differently. You start noticing opportunities you didn't see before. You start making choices that align with that feeling.
And slowly—without forcing it—clarity starts to emerge.
Step 5: Connect With Your Future Self Through Visualization
Visualization isn't just manifestation woo-woo—it's a powerful tool for accessing clarity that already exists within you.
Here's a practice you can do whenever you're feeling stuck:
Find a quiet space. Close your eyes. Take five deep breaths.
Now imagine yourself 1, 3, or 5 years from now. You're living a life that feels aligned. You've figured out what you want. You're doing it.
What do you see? Where are you? What does your day look like? How do you feel when you wake up?
What has changed? What did you let go of? What did you say yes to? What decision did you make?
How does this version of you carry herself? What's different about her energy? Her confidence? Her presence?
Sit with this visualization for a few minutes. Let the details come through. Don't force them—just receive them.
Then write down everything you saw, felt, or sensed. Even if it doesn't make logical sense yet.
Your future self is showing you what you want. You just have to pay attention.
Step 6: Take Tiny Aligned Actions (Even Without the Full Plan)
You don't need to have your entire life figured out to take the next step.
You just need to take ONE small action in the direction of what feels a little more right.
Maybe that's:
- Having a conversation you've been avoiding
- Setting a boundary you've been scared to set
- Signing up for a class that sounds interesting
- Reaching out to someone whose life intrigues you
- Saying no to something that drains you
- Saying yes to something that lights you up
Clarity doesn't come from thinking. It comes from doing.
You don't figure out what you want by sitting in your head. You figure it out by experimenting, exploring, and paying attention to what feels aligned and what doesn't.
Take one small step. See how it feels. Adjust. Repeat.
That's how clarity builds.
Step 7: Recognize and Embody the Feeling You're Seeking
Once you've identified the feeling you're craving (freedom, fulfillment, peace, whatever it is), the next step is to start embodying it now.
Not when you have the perfect job. Not when you've made the big decision. Not "someday."
Now.
Ask yourself: How would the version of me who already feels [that feeling] show up today?
- How would she spend her morning?
- What boundaries would she set?
- What would she say no to?
- What would she prioritize?
- How would she treat herself?
And then—this is the key—start doing those things.
This is manifestation in action. You're not waiting for external circumstances to change so you can feel better. You're changing your internal state first, and letting your external reality catch up.
When you embody the feeling you're seeking, you become the version of yourself who's capable of creating what you want. And that's when everything shifts.
Trust That the Answer Will Reveal Itself
I know the not-knowing feels unbearable sometimes. I know you want the answer now.
But here's what clients tell me over and over after they've moved through this process:
The answer doesn't come from forcing it. It comes from creating space for it.
When you stop pressuring yourself to have it all figured out, when you start reconnecting with yourself through journaling and embodiment, when you take small aligned actions without needing to know the full plan—clarity starts to emerge.
Not all at once. Not always in a lightning bolt moment (though sometimes it does happen that way).
But gradually. In layers. In breadcrumbs that eventually form a path.
Trust that the answer is coming. Trust that you're exactly where you need to be. Trust that the "I don't know" phase isn't a dead end—it's a doorway.
You Don't Have to Figure This Out Alone
Sometimes you need support. Sometimes you need someone to help you see what you can't see on your own.
That's exactly why I do this work.
Through journaling, subconscious reprogramming, visualization, and embodiment practices, I help women reconnect with what they actually want—and then take aligned action to create it. Not through more thinking. Not through more planning. But through getting in touch with your subconscious, trusting yourself, and becoming the version of you who already has clarity.
You don't have to stay in the "I don't know" space forever. And you don't have to figure it out alone.
Work With Me
If you're ready to move from "I don't know what I want" to crystal-clear clarity, I'd love to support you.
I offer 1:1 manifestation coaching for women in 9-5s who feel stuck, disconnected, or unfulfilled—but aren't sure what needs to change. Through journaling, subconscious reprogramming, and embodying your future self, we'll help you reconnect with yourself, gain clarity on what you actually want, and take aligned action to create it—whether that's a pivot, staying and thriving, or something in between.
Not ready for full coaching? Start with a Future Self Activation Session – a single 90-minute coaching session to gain clarity on your next move and create an action plan.
Or explore my Make Your Magic course – a self-paced program combining manifestation principles with practical tools to help you navigate life transitions with confidence.
